On this sailboat, last time the beer koozie count was way up there, either 67 or 87. These stupid beer can koozies keep multiplying during sail racing season.
Skipper is the first to acknowledge it: he has a beer koozie count addiction. As to hopes for recovery, I hear that admitting an addiction is step one; step two is formulation of regime with gradual tapering off of these foam beer containers. For Summer and Smoke, cold turkey is more the order of the day, versus cold beer.
Sailboat Drinking Team with a Beer Koozie Problem
Beer koozie count! During cleaning, I tried to completely remove all traces of temptation; meaning scrap every last darn koozie. I tried that earlier during the last big haul when koozie count was either 67 or 87. When I told skipper the tally, requested a removal, he reprimanded, then retaliated. He brought in another half dozen of the things the following week—intentionally hideous neon green with nonsense advertising.
And each week thereafter he added more—whether purchased from travel hops or local thrift shops. He found the ugliest ones, and of course koozies with pirates or imprinted with manly phrasing.
Skipper’s the first to acknowledge that he’s got a koozie problem
Koozie Tootie
In an effort to help with skipper’s koozie condition, I consulted family and friends—alerting them and asking for assistance, plus koozie abatement. He got wind about this, and for weeks on end delighted in making a fuss over which koozie to use that day. Boisterous announcements were made pre-race while pouring ice around beer bottles in the sink. “Where’s Martha? Which beer koozie should I use? What’s the count now?” He tormented me–announcing number and style of new koozies added to the boat that day, or how many he planned to buy in coming weeks.
Sailing and beer koozie problem on this boat? Not a bit
Things came to a crushing blow at the end of season racer dinner. During prize giving skipper stood up in front of the club, proudly clutching his new embroidered sail bag and thanking race peers. He then called me forward.
He made a fuss while handing over a special gift wrapped in pink tissue paper. Inside was an orange koozie; I later discovered he had discretely given one to each crewmember earlier that night. Not only did I not feel so special, I realized he had cleverly increased the overall beer koozie count by eight. Cheers to you skipper. We can’t wait to see what kind of foamies you find in Zimbabwe.
Beer Trademarks
Did you know that beer koozies are trademarked in America? Says Wikipedia: the name “Koozie” is a federally registered trademark in the United States, originally coined by Bob Autrey of San Antonio, TX, and rights later sold to Radio Cap Corporation (RCC) as the KOOZIE in the early 1980’s. The company RCC specialized in baseball caps before registering a trademark for the name KOOZIE in 1980, and subsequently introducing the product as a can cooler in 1982.
As the promotional product industry grew, more products were added to the KOOZIE brand, including drinkware, more styles of can coolers, cooler bags, outdoor leisure items, travel accessories, and business accessories.
The word “koozie” has also lost its trademark numerous times over the years, making it a regular everyday word in the English language, similar words like “Onesie,” “Zamboni,” and “Hula Hoop.” These are brand name products that have been subject to genericide – the process by which a brand name loses its distinctive identity as a result of being used to refer to any product or service of its kind. Read about our winning ways–the crew of Summer and Smoke.
